Ok, so its Friday May 16 and finally my processing for my next level has been completed. I finally arrived at the idea and it has actually solidified in my mind. One of the keys to my existence is the understanding that we don’t live and exist on this planet forever (so we enjoy we enjoy it while we are here). The one thing that I have always admired though is the idea that person’s mind can exists forever through these very words that flow through my fingers (I always think about ralph ellison's invisble man). I guess the idea is that each moment of existent as I type this (what I call freestyle exercise), my electrical energy from my brain (i know everyone knows neurons and your spinal chord) is being transferred through keystrokes that result in a visual stimulus (yeah i really didn't have use such technical language) that can live forever. But I only live forever through another human beings interpretation of my words. (after reading this a second time...i would say maybe...because our dna lives though our children) Without another human beings interpreting these words I still die. (Ok, this is a lil harsh..i would revise that i say the thoughts at this moment are captured) Its like that treasured buried in a remote area (so i guess i am was thinking that my thoughts were treasure...i will recede that statment on the second reading) and no has located. It might as well not exist ( alil harsh). The only thing that gives us a chance to exist is that probability that someone discovers it (ok..i was just rambling but I now think we exist from our influences with other people through out our lives). So no matter what, a person’s existence after they leave this earth is through another person (now i would say maybe, because when we look a painting...these is visual image that is not words but we interpret subjectively. But that subjective interpretation was based on a man's artistic creation while he was alive..aka MOna Lisa Artwork.) Right now at this point, my existence does not depend on another person and as time goes on, I know eventually that will no longer be the case. (I think that was shallow thought to think that my existence depends on another person. I would say that your existence depends on the energy that you transmit to your environment. You environment could include family friends, a sculpture, a u.s. constitutional law, an accident on the highway. So upon second analysis, my thinking has changed.) So anywayz, where does that leave my thought, well the desire to be remembered. I guess it was like a Futurama episode (I know yal are saying why the hell is a 30 year old citing a cartoon. Well the cartoon was very creative and touched on topics that modern film doesn't have the flexibilty to explore. so if you look at the cartoon from that angle...then you begin to appreciate) where Bender finds an Egyptian society on another planet and has them build him a gigantic monument of himself. (ok looking back at this..yes the plot was dumb and not though provoking but in his child like approach, it touched a very deep theme that many human's ponder at some point in their lives) The interesting thing though is that Bender is a robot which means that his desires are programmed by human beings. So when you watch Benders behaviors, they are really a results of his programs. But really, it’s the cartoonists and the writers idea behind Futurama…...it still touches on the point that human beings like to be remembered. (ok, so what I actually trying to say was that the cartoons where a reflection of the writers psychological perspective. I believe that writer hit upon a universal concept which i was attempting explore in this random freestyle exposition with no initial direction when i started typing) So his monument was destroyed but Leela affirmed to Bendor that all the people who built his monument would remember him as a cruel leader that forced them to work on his monument. (so applaying what i was saying before, his that bender lived because..even though he was a robot, he exerted energy into is environment from his own free will?... So now my dilemma is that we have robots that do work for us...but do they do work from their own free will? Bender was special because somehow ..he developed a free will. Or was it still a computer program and the freewill program by his programmer. I guess we would never known until technology produces such a being. But I think the premise of the futurama was that robots were in fact alive because they posses a beta wave. Anyway, I will lose you if I keep rambling onthis point in my second analysis so I will close the parenthesis to return back to the original content) For me, I think of books when I think of people who have passed that I remember. I guess like Ralph Ellison’s invisible man. When try to remember important themes in that book…nothing emerges other than his black professors who gave him corrupt recommendations letters. I guess I felt like I never read a book that spoke to my experience. Sure I have read books that have expressed ideas in strong coherent ways, but none that express ideas for me in 21st century. (Going back now, I think that statement of me not reading books about 21st century...I should point out that not enough time has gone by for classical books to be established. I wonder what african american male literary author has the same prestige in this day and age that ralph ellison possess in his day an age?) So anyway, I realized that the key to unlock things for me was iron man. (Again, this was an initial freestyle exposition and I had no idea i was going to cite Iron Man it was just a movie i had recently seen) This was a movie based on an inventor who built weapons for the military. He had a great mind and was rewarded handsomely. (this sounds so corny the way i wrote.."he was reward handsomely") He inherited his company from his father but his biggest asset was his mind. He was able to create designs with his minds that no one else could create. And when the U.S. gov’t wants something, they have the money to pay for it. I think the component that stuck out for me is the idea in the movie…”just because you create an idea doesn’t mean you own it”. (I guess the new thought though is that how could the gov't have wanted something if they didn't know it was possible. Now what really stuck out to me. In this world that we live in, is summation of human ideas from our history. We look at the car we drive, many of us don’t pay attention (mainly myself) or even know exactly how all parts of the car work (referring to myself), but they exist and enables us to get to and from work each day. It was those leaps in logic and creativity and design by a human mind that enable what we could do. More importantly, we all have the same ability. Not saying that I can design an iron man suit, but I do realize that it’s the ability to combine previously existing ideas into a pattern that no other brain has combined, that is what made Tony Starks unique. God has created unlimited tap potential that he knows exist and human beings slowly uncovered them (so when I say slowly uncovered..I mean developed. We sart from A...and through logic advance to B..and cycle keeps going as long as the brain continues to exert energy and combine old ideas to create new ones. Will we ever get to the point where its not possible to create a new idea from and old idea.) sand bit by sand bit. I imagine at a beach with each sand grain as an idea or law that god created and human beings combined sand grain by sand grain to make new designs and each sand grain has different 3 D shape. None of the billions of sand grains has the same 3D shape, but when a human sees all the sand grains as the beach instead of billions and billions of individual sand grains.
That’s kind of how ideas work in the world..there are billions upon billions of ideas and you can combine two completely separate ideas and generate a new third idea. Its like forcing two sand grains into one sand grain..which is would be larger than initial two sand grains but also completely different and with a new 3 D shape but has the same mass as the initial two 3D pieces of sand. (I guess another example is our very own hair. We look at our hair as a patch but when you look into scalp there are thousand upon thousands. Has anyone ever known the exact number of hair follicles in his or head. we see as one unit instead of small parts) So how does that relate to me. Well I love the idea of allowing my mind the freedom to just create. After I create, and I examine what I have created, the realization that what I have created …the two sand grains that I have combined probably have never been combined before, it makes you understand how much energy it takes a human mind to combine to pieces of sand grains. Yes there are billions upon billions of individual sand grains and a human being will never be able to combine billions upon billions of separate sand granules, in his or her life time he might be able to do a handful of sand..but a beach is made of trucks loads upon truck load of sand. In society, we celebrate and reward individuals who have combined sand granules and created a new idea that is useful to all people of the society and enhances the quality of life. (My thinking here is Bill Gates with Microsoft..and at least a capitalist society like U.S. where individual property laws are supported by gov't and individuals which is a whole another topic) But a simple poem that a child writes (ok it may not be simple) the organization of words used is (possibly)a combination that probably no other person has created if the poem that the child has written is long enough (yeah I was rambling in this system, I can admit that after the second reading). At this point, I am 100 percent certain that no other human in history of mankind has organized words exactly the way that I (not to say its a big deal by the way..i guess just the thought that we can create something unique) have just organized the words that I have just typed within the last fifteen minutes. (I guess I wanted to remind everyone that it initially was only 15 minutes so no one goes to heavily into lack of levels...its more like the composition was snap shot picture..capturing a moment in time as opposed to an organized novel strategically building upon a previous idea to take a reader in the authors strategic direction. this had no initial direction) I think its this practice of allowing words to flow from my electrical brain (i guess my biopsychology background is still in love with the concept of an electrical gradient initiating from our brain, traveling down a neuron as an action potential based on NA gradients pouring from a cell membrane and exciting a muscle which causes each of my fingers to move in a predefined motion on a tiny keyboard...Biopsychology pretty selfish major) impulses to my fingers tips and seeing the result expressed in words is proof that I lived today. (AFter second reading, it wasn't that I needed proof that I read, it was more like having a still frame photo of a vacation you went on to remind you of want you saw. Life is definitely based on memories..Biopsychololgy..without memory..money means nothing) When I go back 9 months ago, my mind has no real proof that I lived. (Ok, so its not like we need proof that I lived, it more like a digital snapshot of mind each day. I come to realze that each day we transform energy or food from our environment into a orgaized output...we eat an egg mcmuffin..our body converts that egg mcmuffin into a heart beat, chemical synapses in our brain which produces the very though that is shown through my keyboard, even driving our car and making decisions based on whether to stop or go at at a redlight is really our body translating the potential energy locked ina an egg mcmuffin into another form of energy..so yeah just out there thought that we don't really think about but forms the basis of our existence) Sure I could have a video or a sound recording But I personally define living by the ideas that have flowed in my mind (upon second thought, i definitely reaffirm that thought. I defintely think living is transforming the energy from our environment into Biochemical energy..pretty simple and really means nothing..but I guess its light from the sun..captured by plants and our bodies have evolved to capture that energy from the plants so we are still connected to sun..guess we are all parasites of the sun since based on our perspective..we don't give back to the sun..yeah just outlandish thought but I have freedom here to do that lol). So no... I am not saying that this was masterpiece free style typing but it’s a hobby of mind that gives me great pleasure ( I would say pleasure because of the practice) and the possibility that I might live forever (on second thought, we are all a product of someone elses life that came before us so technically..we are all slight variation of a previously existed human being..anything that exist inside of us genetically has already existed in a previous human being..at least potential wise..meaning all the traits that we express were hidden in our parents since our DNA came 100 percent from only two people), through some person that I haven’t ever met or may never meet after I pass is like the gigantic monument that Bendors Designers programmed him to built (I don't expect to many people to have thought hard about the psychology of a program robot..I guess its IBOT by Will smith..is probabl the closest thing that would compare..just on a tangent..that would suck if there the robots we created forces us to stay in our homes forever), the reason why Hillary Clinton goes 20 million dollars in debt even though she knows after spending 5 milllion (well after reading the second time..when are worth 127 million, i guess 20 million really isn't that big of deal and if you are 65 years old..you have alot of money but I would think the idea of money changes when you know you might not live for another 5 years. If you are black males and you live to age 65 or 70 you are pretty lucky..so a black male worth 120 million at age 65...the age of hillary..I mean its not like money can buy you extra time so i guess that another idea to explore...money versus time), I guess why I thought I would be an inventor when I was kid…(on second reading...I would have never thought as a kid that one day I would be typing with an understanding of what my heartbeat is or even the understanding of what DNA was..the world at time revolved aroung getting some money for the ice cream truch) I guess I thought an inventor was a profession. When you are kid, the world isn’t trapped inside a box and organized into categories. Sometimes..i try to remember what I was and know that piece of it still exist...(yeah on second reading new information can even transform our interpretation of our memories..it seems like the only thing that really stays constant with humans is the information printed in a book..or information that we recorded because the information ion our brain is held in biochemical form an ever changing and evolving wth new information...sand granules colliding and creating new sand granules...can someone say reference to the imagination created Sandman in Spiderman 3..could that ever occur?) So this is one of my favorite hobbies (yeah i don't think you could find this particular hobby doing an internet search..I don't think there is a defined label for what I do..just an expression..and each of us has things which we consider a hobby..one of my hobbies is to just released the Biopsychology Degree that I spent a ton of money and time storing in my brain..twisting though ideas into an expression from my finger tips as well as how I see an event completely different that a person who doesn't think about capturing our body capturing electrons from glucose molecules based on a hydrogen gradient in our mitochondria and transmiting these charged electrons into ATP. Just memorized facts that exist inside each of our bodies that is way to much for our brains to process. Our brain is processed to keep that system alive in the macro physical world..and recreate if we are successful design) So this typing represents only 20 minutes of my day…the other 12 hours will probably be forgotten in memory but these twenty minutes won’t.(Memory is the most important component of the macro world..not transcribing DNA to reproduce a damaged skin cell) Friday May 16. Just putting together a few pieces of sand in my life..out the billions and billions of pieces that I could have selected. What random unimportant (I guess I have to admit unimportant just means...how important are the electrons that excite the receptors in our eyes that allow me to do this. Now if my fate was to be blind like the my father..who created me..would my experience have still evolved to this point..I guess that is what blends into my thinking which wouldn't automatically blend into everyone else..we all have slightly different experiences and that slight variation can transform an entire output processes. Ok what does that mean, if i am baking a cake..adding to much or too little of something will change teh property of the cake..but is their a good and bad cake..there might be..I guess its subjective but even behind subjectiveness..on human experience we evolve to universal truths based on numbers..ok..so a ramble..but numbers in the macro world...really our the basis of human society and our evolution. So where am I going with this..well humans have almost identical DNA structures so this allows us to share a highly similar experience which would be different from that cat or dog. As more and more of us agree..we come to universal human psychological truths)pieces will I randomly choose to put to combine tomorrow I guess is where the excitement lies..not for others but for me (yeah me being selfish..i guess I am not perfect) and yes I am usually in good mood after inventing ..even if it means organizing the english language into a block that no other human has done ( i guess something any mean wants to being distinguished from others so I wouldn't work to well in a communist society right). Yes we all can do it and we all can create…only difference is that I enjoy freestyling I guess without being paid (who would exert their hard worked physical energy just to read to my freestyles). I wonder why I right (write i know how to spell) in a block instead of making it easier for (you) other to read…I guess because the structure makes it uninviting and hidden even it just looks like big block of words that no one wants to read through except me and maybe a selected few but I guess those are the people that make me part of their memory but that’s where the value comes in. If someone gets to this point, then I realize that a piece of mind will always live in that human that gets to this point because no one forced them to attempt to read (yeah I like the idea of free human will..i guess its what made bender the imagination of a human being..alive) it’s the fact that this possibility exist and that only a few will choose to remember me and my imperfections (a desire to be remember even though when we leave this earth we know and hope that God the creator in his infinite wisdom allows us to continue being our individual identities..including myself (but will my individual self continue to be me once I am exposed to new information that i didn't know existed). I guess I realize that the only person that I can count on reading through this is myself. If another person does and can relate..that’s awesome but I know I can depend on me and anyone that truly cares…to get to this point. (Whoopy dooo..someone cares to get this point..haha I sure didn't make it easy) If not oh well but thank you for your time if you even if I forget to say this in all my other blocks of freestyle. May 16 2008 7:10am to 7:40am. (oh and first pic is me by the way and this stuff after is from the cartoon episode of futurama which I like because it incorporates some of the universal truths from my combination of study of biology, physics, psychology, sociology, economics, and literature, and history..and probably some more stuff too)
Leela: Bender, I understand your desire to be remembered. But you don't need a statue for that.
Bender: I don't?
Leela: No. You have your legacy as a brutal, tyrannical dictator, and that will outlive any monument.
Bender: You really think they'll remember me?
Fry: Absolutely.
Bender: Well in that case. One planet down! Helmsman... set course for Earth!
Leela: That's not Earth.
Bender: Oh. (edit)
Leela: You jerk. Why'd you have to drag us along?
Bender: I wanted to watch you remember me. (edit)
Fry: Bender, I really hope that's you. 'Cause if it isn't... we're in trouble! (edit)
Osiran: Does it please you, my lord?
Bender: Hmm... it's a good start. Uh, yeah, it's definitely big alright. I just wonder if it's too big, y'know? I mean, are people gonna be remembering me or the statue?
High Priest: But, sire, we made it to your exact specifications.
Bender: Too exact if you ask me. Tear it down and try again. But this time don't embarrass yourselves. (
Slave: Mighty Pharaoh, it hurts when I breathe.
Bender: Well then what do you think you should stop doing?
Bender: Lowly slave, why are you not working?
Slave: I am.
Bender: I meant yourself to death. oK it took me about 20 minutes to find all pics.
